I'll remember the night I made my decision in which, for the first time, it makes me feel at peace.
I'll remember tonight, at 3.42, I have made the decision that make myself happy.
Universe, our old friend had told me the right thing for me to do, a decision that wouldn't make everyone happy but makes me relieve. A decision that set me free from all the non sense and unfair things that had happened in my life for quiet some time and almost forgot who I am and what I really want in my short life.
The universe had taught me to be aware of signs and good signs are going to lead me to my treasure island. Good signs, I have learned my lesson, are not always positive, sometimes they are rocky, painful, stink, ugly like hell, looked impossible to get through it, BUT, it had trained me and shaped me to be someone stronger, better in character and more mature. And the reward for it is called, once again, our forgotten friend, 'time'.
Tonight I had chat with both of my old time friends. Time and universe, the two endless living beings that always stay with me side by side and I have been ignored them since then. Well, they are really good friends. Universe, had given me cliff to climb, jungle to get through, hot sun to strengthen me, and snow to freeze and to kill the lights inside of me. Time, had always with me, but it seems we're running in different direction, or maybe, sometimes, I'm running away from time. Time and Universe had once become my nemesis.
Universe taught me once, "follow me, the voice in your heart, your surroundings, your so called words of wisdom."
Universe had taught me too, "have time with TIME, she's precious and you don't want to miss a thing."
Universe had also taught me, "talk to me everyday, respond to me, there you can find your way when you're lost."
I have forgotten those things.
I barely stare at the dark and talk to the king of the endless, the God, you may call him. I barely talk to myself, through the words of wisdom from the books I bought, and most importantly, to talk with my mortal friends. I CAN'T catch up with time, can't even talk and sit with universe.
I'm a one lonely bastard until universe dragged me for a moment and talk to me in private, through the city lights of Jakarta, the beautiful rain drops, the scolding of my mom, my father's white hair, and most of all the fucked up document that can't be provided. I took them as soft spoken sign from the endless.
Then one moment it has been decided, and at the moment, time and universe seems to get back to me again, or MAYBE, i get back to them, we hug like we've never met before. I hope we can be friends again mates.
You're my allies to success.
bayangan program bingkai 2010
7 years ago